Thursday, January 29, 2009

HNT #2: Catching Up

I'm baccckkkkkk!
So I am very, very sorry for being absent for so long, but I do have an HNT for you this week, I hope you like it!

Life has been pretty normal lately, if normal in your dictionary means hectic and stressful. But I do think I'm getting back on track with school, work, and my emotions.

Now, we mentioned that D had an unbelievably inconsiderate roommate in a previous post. But what we failed to mention is that I am rooming with the equally unbelievably inconsiderate girlfriend of his roommate. So it took a lot of planning to work out an environment for this picture! No complaints if it's not to your liking, k?

And thank you for all your kind compliments! You're spoiling me ;)

xs and os.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Okay, okay. So I lied.

I know I promised that I'd be back full time, and continuing with my nakedness, but my life has been really, really hectic, to say the least.

But I know you guys wouldn't be upset because you love me so much (right, right?).
So I sincerely beg for one more week, just ONE more. And then I'll bring you some nakedness, k?

xs and os.

P.S. What does it mean when someone asks you to trust him but he doesn't trust you trying to trust him?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


So the life-changing event I had mentioned in my last post turned out to be okay. Meaning once again, D and I are attending the same college and living on the same campus. I was originally ecstatic about my return. But since the big move-in day yesterday, I no longer feel the same.

The reason I had left the school was poor grades. But by returning home for six months, I had ran away from the rude people, the stress of that particular school, and the strain of my relationship with D.
In the past six months, I had gone through major ups and downs with my family, but once again, I have found warmth and comfort with the people I love and trust most in my lifetime.

I came back to this school because I firmly believe that if I can make it through the next 2 years, I will be able to step into a lifestyle I can only dream about otherwise. I will be able to provide comfort not only to myself, but to my loved ones as well. But this is proving to be every bit as difficult as I remembered it, if not more.

In the past 2 days, I faced 90% of the problems I saw back when I was last enrolled here. What in the world will I do for my next 2 years here?
D was the only one I could run to when I faced problems here in the past, but today he isn't here. Not to mention in 4 months, he will never be here again.

I left home with the sense that this will make me a better person. No matter how hard this turns out to be, if I make it through, it will be amazing. But do I really have the strength to pull through this time around?

I have so many thoughts running through my head, so many words to say...but who do I tell?
Sitting on this bed, in this particularly empty room, on this particularly cold and lonely night...I'm speechless.

I just want to break down. But who will pick up the pieces?

Sorry about the dose of extra-depression. I hope the happy me will be back soon.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

HNT #1: Freshen Up

Hi Ladies & Gents. Long time no see.

I hope all of you enjoyed your Christmas/New Year breaks. I personally only had 3 days off in total, and have been swamped with work and school.
Hence why I have been completely MIA, and haven't been posting or reading all your New Year posts. I hope you haven't missed me too much (but it's ok if you did).
To redeem myself, I have an HNT for you guys, and I'm going to number it from the beginning to start afresh with the New Year.

Today is a big, big, big, big, biggggggg day for me at school, and if all goes well, my puny life might be spared from the wrath of...I don't know what. So fingers crossed, or else I would probably have to find a really tall building to jump off of.

Which reminds me...I've been unreasonably (according to D) stressed and depressed lately, some days to the extent of not being able to sleep more than an hour a night because all I do is lie awake thinking about the things that mess with my mind.
D keeps telling me that I need to relax, but when there's something, or many things, on your mind that keep bothering you and haunting you, there really is no relaxing, right?

Do you guys have any tips on how not to let the stress get to you? (Other than lots of nakedness, of course)

xs and os,